


promises and pride

by sohma



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (but only a minor one), Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8477098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohma/pseuds/sohma
Summary: quick note: i use they/them pronouns for pidge in this fic, though any and all gender headcanons and welcome with me.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psiten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psiten/gifts).



> quick note: i use they/them pronouns for pidge in this fic, though any and all gender headcanons and welcome with me.

Pidge struggled to stay awake in the backseat of their family's minivan, strapped in tightly as the car rocked gently to the sound of rain hitting the windows. The same patterns of trees and lush fields rolled on endlessly and made them feel dizzy.

"Katie, give me a turn, you've been playing for so long." Pidge turned and saw their brother's familiar grin, and noticed him motioning to something in their hands: a see-through Gameboy, bent up from going through hell and back.

"Come on Kate, let me use it." Matt nudged Pidge, outstretching his hands to take the device.

They instinctively pulled their hands as far away is possible and stuck out their tongue with a laugh. "No way, you had it for much longer!"

"Alright, settle down," their father said from the front seat, glancing at the siblings through the rearview mirror. "We might have driven all this way, but I have no problems with turning around and taking us all back home--"

"No, we'll be good! We've been waiting for that shuttle launch for so long, we can't miss it now," Matt quickly protested.

"Besides, this is all for our Katie's birthday," their mother added. She turned in her seat to face her arguing children. "Turning around to drive back home seems like a terrible present, huh?"

Cape Canaveral. Pidge had wanted to see the shuttle launch just after their birthday for months and had begged their parents. Since dad and Matt were so busy preparing for their mission, they'd hardly had any real family time lately. The plan was to go to Cape Canaveral after they came back, just in time for Pidge's birthday. Everything was perfect.

"Katie?" Pidge looked up at the sound of their dad's voice. He glanced at them in the mirror. "Why didn't you look for us?"

Their heart sunk. "W-what do you mean, dad?"

"Kate, honey, why'd you leave home so suddenly?" Their mother reached out and rested a hand on their knee.

"I don't understand--"

"We're waiting for you."

"Matt, please listen--"

"Katie."

"Kate."

"Pidge."

 

The cold compress on their forehead did little to comfort them when they jolted awake.

"Pidge? It was just a fever dream, are you--" Shiro stopped himself as they hiccuped a sob, body shaking under the layers of blankets.

"Matt... And my dad... Mom..." Pidge sniffed and wiped an arm across their face as they shivered. "I can't give up on them, I can't fail--"

"You won't fail." Shiro was kneeling next to where Pidge rested on their bed. "If Matt and Sam... If your family knew everything you were doing for them, I know they'd be so proud of you."

They gulped another cry, trying to hold back their tears. Pidge tried to shift and sit up but was stopped by Shiro.

“Hey, you’re okay, I’m here.” He moved to sit next to them on the bed and pulled them into a hug, stroking their shaking back. “Try the breathing exercise we tried, alright?”

Pidge nodded, counting their breaths and trying to match Shiro’s pattern. His presence calmed them somehow; just knowing that he’d been with their family in space, and also had to cope with the loss, made it easier to be vulnerable around him.

“I don’t know, I…” They wiped their face. “Sorry about this, you shouldn’t have to take care of me like this…”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Pidge. Allura is having Coran make a dish for you, something to help you heal and give you energy. We want to help.“ He wiped away at a wet patch on Pidge's skin with his thumb, the synthetic padding a reminder of what the Galra had done to not only their family but to Shiro himself. "Was this the same dream as before?"

Pidge nodded and bit their lip. "I don't know why is keeps coming back. It's like... my birthday already passed, so I'm not sure why it's that specific dream. I have so many memories from when Matt and I were little and explored art museums with our parents--why do I keep imagining something that never happened?"

Shiro sighed and moved to lean back on the wall next to the bed. "The mind works in mysterious ways. Maybe it's a sign."

Pidge shrugged and swiped at their face again. "My head hurts... I miss them."

"I miss them too, Pidge. Allura will be back with the food soon."

Silence enveloped them as Pidge leaned back on their bed, covering their face with their hands.

"D'you really think they'd be proud of me?"

Shiro barked out a quick, almost humorless laugh. "Of course! You've been working so hard on trying to find them, and you've become one of Voltron's Paladin--I mean, if Matt and Sam could see us now, they'd be shocked. You've come a long way, Pidge."

"So've you." They rolled on their side to face Shiro better and bit their lip. "Since we got here you've been the most dedicated and driven, and you're still improving daily... You're incredible."

He grinned and nudged them gently. "Thanks. You're pretty great yourself."

Pidge yawned into their hand, feeling drained from the nightmare. They felt exhausted and too tired to sleep at once, their fear of the recurring dream battling their fatigue.

"You look like you should go back to sleep," Shiro whispered as he tucked them back in. "What good is our main programmer on no sleep?"

"C'mon, Shiro, I never sleep anyway," Pidge chuckled with another yawn. "But if you insist..."

"I do insist. Rest will be good for your health and you'll be able to get over that virus in no time."

They nodded and shut their eyes, nestling into the bed. It was warm and freshly washed so the smell of detergent lingered.

Shiro ruffled their hair gently and smiled. "You've been working so hard, Pidge. We're all proud of you."

“‘M proud of you too,” they mumbled, moving into his touch. “Thanks for everything.”

Pidge was already asleep by the end of the sentence. Shiro tucked the blankets a little more snugly around them and put the compress back on their head.

Ever since their nightmares started, he’d started to linger by their bedroom door and make sure that they were sleeping enough. Throughout the night he’d hear Pidge waking up and shifting restlessly in their room, surely frightened by their own visions. He was worried about the way these dreams were affecting the youngest Paladin and had slowly been asking the other crew members to check in with them every so often. Even if Pidge didn’t want to talk about what they were seeing and feeling, Shiro knew they needed all the support they could get.

Besides, he knew they’d do the same for him—their family had, at least.

Shiro was more determined than ever to find Matt and Sam Holt. Not just for him, but also for Pidge.

Tracking them down in secret to try and go on a recon mission without Pidge’s knowledge wasn’t easy. He’d had to enlist the service of the other crew members to find information, and while he knew that Pidge would be the best person to turn to, he was afraid of involving them should the mission not end well. He couldn’t let them feel disappointed in him again.

The preparations were almost done. Allura had recently pulled him aside and told him that she found smaller ships they could use to go to the planets they’d narrowed their search to. Shiro didn’t want to get his hopes up too much in case he wouldn’t really be reunited with his former crew members, but there was no way he could avoid it. Even thinking about the mission filled him with a guilty sort of giddiness, knowing that he could (and really might) fail, but praying that he wouldn’t.

Pidge stirred in their sleep and Shiro adjusted their blankets again.

“We’ll find them, Pidge. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! although i don't really plan to write anything else for this story, i might eventually if i ever feel like it. i wanted to write a bit on the holt family to explore their dynamics, but ultimately i wanted to focus on shiro and pidge's friendship. i feel like shiro is one of pidge's main pillars of support, they're one of his main sources too (though whether he realizes or not is a different matter).  
> thanks for reading!


End file.
